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having choice means having power

“You can’t cross the sea merely by

Dear soulsister,

The soul can only take so much hurt. Yet many keep on going in for more. Lack of self-worth often causes us to get, or try to get our worth from the most unworthiest of sources.

Many ask “why?”

Why don’t the ones who are hurting every ask “Why?” – “Why am I hurting? Why am I doing this? Why do I spend time with people who hurt me? Why don’t I want more from life? Why don’t I do something about it?”

Why!?

For many of you reading this, you may be thinking, “I’ve heard this all before.” And yes, we hear it time and again. If this is you, by all means, move on. I have no problem with that. But there may be one person reading this who it will make a difference for. And that’s why I writing it.

If you are not happy with your life, start asking “Why?” Once you have found the answer, or you think you have, then ask “What can I do about it?” There will always be SOMETHING you can do. It needn’t be a huge thing, but there will be something you CAN do to start moving yourself towards the life you want and the life you will be happy in. It may take time, but it will never happen unless we start.

Once you have settled on what you can do, start doing it.

We can feel powerless. We can feel we have no control over our own lives. We can feel that we have no choice. But sister,

You do have a choice to do what you want at least ONCE during the day.

Therefore, you do have control over your life at least ONCE during the day.

Therefore, you do have POWER at least ONCE during the day.

There will be ONE thing that you can do every day that will start to make a difference in your life…..it may be :

  1. going for a walk
  2. pulling out some weeds
  3. journaling your feelings (you can throw it away as soon as you write it, if you are afraid someone may find it)
  4. spending 5 minutes (or even 1 minute!) imagining you are living the life you want
  5. doing 10 sit ups
  6. singing
  7. being grateful that the sun comes up in the morning
  8. saying to yourself “I am a good person and I deserve all that is good”

When you do this ONE small thing, think to yourself “I’M choosing to do this” “I’M in control right now” therefore “I DO have some power within me”.

You are powerful. You may not be as powerful as you want right now, but if you keep building on these ‘ONE times’ during the day, before you know it you will be realizing that you are choosing to do a number of things, then many things a day. And every time you remind yourself that YOU are choosing, and that YOU have power in that moment, you will feel more and more powerful as time goes on until you have enough power to make the BIG choice and really move on in your life.

So, soulsister, all power to you! You CAN have the life you want.

much love,

Rebecca Signature

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stress starts with a capital ‘C’

Any fool can criticize, condemn and

Dear soulsister,

We talk about stress in terms of our job or study, our relationships, not having enough time, our health, our wealth, or having too much to do.

What often comes into play when we begin to feel discomfort in our lives are :

Complaining

Criticizing and/or

Comparing

We say, things like “I have so much to do”, “I don’t have enough time”, “My staff are hopeless, I have to redo everything”, “My child/parent/partner are annoying me”.

And then, we leave the conversation there. Usually because everyone agrees with us. “Yeh, I know…….” “Oh, that’s soooo bad” or something similar. We all pat each other on the shoulder and support the victim and mediocrity and add to the universal “Woe is me, sniff, sniff” or the “I am so in the right and everything or everyone else is wrong” syndromes.

Recently I read that the enemy of happiness is adaptation. Often when we are feeling recurring or constant discomfort about something, instead of doing something that will bring about change and restore our happiness, we opt to adapt ourselves to the discomfort. Just like the ‘boiled frog’ it seems there is a part of us that goes to sleep when it comes to changing a situation or modifying it so that it will work better for us. (For those who don’t know, an experiment was done with a frog where it was placed in a pot of water. As the temperature of the water was gradually increased, instead of jumping out of the water, the frog adapted itself to the temperature until it died.)

What we need to do is ask “Why?” “Why do I feel like I do?” We need to get clarity about why I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable. Taking the examples above, it may well be that I have more to do that I can cope with, the time given to me to complete a task is unrealistic, my staff are not trained or experienced or are not interested in what they are doing, my child/parent/partner are falling short of my expectations or standards.

These are the facts. There is no need for me to make them emotional by complaining, criticizing and making comparisons. By complaining, criticizing and comparing, I only create more discomfort, i.e. stress.

Once I have clarity about why I feel like I do I then need to ask myself “What can I do so that I don’t feel discomfort in the situation any more?” Then I need to look at all of the options I have so that I can act to make the situation better for me, and not react, i.e. re-enact the discomfort/stress.

For instance, (taking the examples above again) I might decide to tell my boss that I feel under pressure to do my work – it’s too much for me – and ask if I can have some help. I might decide to meet with my staff and ask why they are finding it difficult to complete tasks properly and then take the necessary steps to perhaps train them, support them or make their jobs more interesting. And I might decide to drop my expectations of my children/parents/partner, understanding that everyone has their own ways of doing things and they may not necessarily be the same as my way of doing things.

Complaining, criticising, and comparing take our power away. Thoughts like these spin in our minds and make our minds weak and as our minds become weak we feel more stress.

Adopting (not adapting), Clarity and Courage to Act will help us to have happy and stress-free lives.

Tomorrow……Why we find it difficult to speak up!

“It’s a lack of clarity that creates

Until then, lots of love,

Rebecca Signature

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life of a soulsister

Pink circles 2

Her special and sacred times – candlelit bathing in the early morning and evening – she hears and sees the trees swaying in the wind, rustling and whispering, the candle flickers with just a little too much breeze coming through the window. And in the darkness and the silence and among the whispers and movements of the earth, she feels her soul.

Early morning hours she wakes, it’s raining and cool. Soft rain, gentle, bathing the earth. And she joins it. She is fully awakened and enlivened. Softly she is reminded of Truth. And Truth is there. She allows its embrace, warm, healing and life giving. Truth loves her so much and she feels that. She loves Truth too. She belongs and she is protected.

For a while they sit. Truth holds her and she feels safe. They sit in love.

And like an incense stick burning, that love wafts into the world, the fragrance touching others. Truth reaches far and wide. And the unhappy, the tired and the lonely begin to feel their souls too.

It moves on and time moves by. And one by one, little by little, the fragrance of the love of the soulsister and Truth spread over the entire world. Bathing it in light and love.

The earth smiles, and souls have begun to shine.

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