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the power of tolerance, or we could say, the power of love

Acceptance looks like a passive state,

Dear soulsister,

Tolerance is one of the greatest strengths in women. For some inexplicable reason we seem to have a wellspring of it naturally built in. So what is tolerance? Is it the power to love no matter what? And what does love mean?

Love means giving and caring. Love is simple, yet we’ve made it so complicated. Love today is all about bondage – desire, dependence, strings and ropes, being tied down, expectations and requirements. But love is none of those things. When these things are present, pain is present. Where there is love there is no pain.

When a woman tolerates she puts up with things, she accepts things, she merges weaknesses and disappointments into herself. This doesn’t mean that she stays in a place that is unsafe for her or others. It means she sees the bigger picture. She understands the imperfection of everything. Her motivation for everything she does is to bring benefit. To bring harmony. To sustain peace.

Therefore if her child, her friend or her partner disappoint her. If they don’t act as they should. If they say and do things that are wrong. She tolerates it. She may not stay, but her role is to create peace, not war. She may give words of guidance and disciplilne, but she doesn’t turn things into a ‘drama’ where violence by way of words, thoughts, feelings or even actions are exchanged. She ‘holds the space’, makes her point and its finished. Everyone is left to come to their own conclusions about how they should act. Its not a matter of one being right and the other wrong. Everyone knows right from wrong – and if they don’t they better learn – there’s no need to debate it any longer than is needed.

A woman with the power of tolerance is a woman with dignity. She knows herself. She knows her place. She knows the role she’s here to play. And with that knowing, her aim in life is to be the best she can. She has clear aims and a clear direction of where she has to go. If others don’t wish to co-operate with her and become obstacles along the way, she quietly and non-violently removes them, goes over them, around or under them. Her purpose is to keep moving to where she needs to go. And she finds a non-violent way to do that.

She understands everyone is responsible for themselves. She isn’t responsible for them and they aren’t responsible for her. She knows everyone has their own role to play in the ‘play of life’ and she knows living is co-operating and that’s what we are all here to do. Its as simple as that. Anything other than that, she moves on.

Tolerating is not complaining that ‘it should be like this’. Its not comparing oneself with another, or one situation with another.   And its not criticizing and condemning. Its accepting that everything is as it is, seeing what could be done to make it better, making the changes if possible, if not, then letting it be and continuing on.

Life is to be lived, enjoyed and made the most of. This is the attitude of a woman with the power of tolerance. The power of tolerance helps her take it all in, accept it all as it is and deal with it as she needs to.

Live a life with the power of tolerance and you will be known and remembered as an amazing woman.

A woman who follows the crowd will

Lots and lots of love,

Rebecca Signature

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facing and conquering weaknesses

Crimson Batik

Dear soulsister,

Ah, the wonderful world of self-change. The world where it is imperative to face our weaknesses and get the better of them – conquer them, tame them, destroy them, be the master over them….

A few weeks ago I came across a methodology I really liked.

In the past, when any of my weaknesses came up – say for instance I felt angry or panicked, I would suppress it, ignore it, scold it or in some other way violate it. I’d get angry that I was angry or scared – how weird is that? It had never occurred to me to welcome it and love it. Accept it. Befriend it. To me weaknesses were always something I didn’t want and I certainly didn’t want anyone else seeing that I had them! No. They would be chased away or hidden as soon as possible. Often this didn’t work! Or, I was too late!

So, I learnt this new method of welcoming, acknowledging, accepting and loving my weaknesses. I came to understand that my weaknesses are just the good parts of me all screwed up. All twisted and dirty and sad, lonely and very very unhappy, and in need of understanding, compassion and love.

And I’ve been practising. Whenever I feel something negative arising in me I face it face on. I walk right up to it…..sometimes it can be hiding a bit, but when I coax it out I treat it gently, say hi and give it a sweet hug. I tell it I love it and I’m sorry that it’s in so much pain and I know all it really wants is for me to acknowledge that and give it love. I give it love – lots of love.   And you know what? It goes away. It just dissolves. I don’t have to go through those awful feelings of suppressing, ignoring, being bossy, hiding and shame…..adding to the problem.

They may not go forever, but then again they may. It depends on how deep and strong the weakness is. But I know that the next time they appear there will be a little less of them. Because of the love I gave, they have softened and lightened up. We have become friends, no longer enemies. They are teaching me to relax and be easy, to be patient and compassionate…..and to have FUN on the journey of self-change. That can’t be bad!

If you are on this journey, give it a go, or share what works for you when you’re confronted by your weaknesses.

Tomorrow I’ll share some inspirations I took from a movie that I watched a little while ago.

Until then, take care.

much love always,

Rebecca Signature

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Looking for Love?

Red Print

Dearest soulsister,

One of my favourite books is The 7 Myths About Love……Actually! by Mike George at www.mythsoflove.com. According to Mike the 7 myths are :

  • Love is required
  • Love is acquired
  • You fall in love
  • Love is attachment
  • Love is exclusive
  • Love hurts, and
  • Love is lost

I urge you to read this book.  You will be struck by how these 7 ideas that we often hear and may even believe about love, are as Mike says, simply myths, because love is actually who and what we are. Love is a quality.  It isn’t a ‘thing’.  It is a quality of the ‘self’.  Not the body, but YOU, the one who sits in the body and moves the body around. Love always IS.  It cannot be gotten, had, bought, given away, lost nor found.

Mike says “When its light is seen it is found to be in the place where it cannot be sought and it can never leave, which is here, and in the only time it can ever exist, which is now.  In that moment, all the accumulated mythologies of love fall away.  In the moment the words most used in the affairs of humankind, “I love you”, are transformed from an illusion into something closer to the truth,…..”I am love for you.”  And then, into the deepest truth that words are inadequate to describe, “I am love.”

So soulsister, are you looking for love, wanting love, falling in love or do you think love is hurting you or, you have lost love? Think again. Consider the idea that you ARE love.  Feel YOUrself, and love will be there.

Tomorrow…….I’ll be sharing three of my favourite quotes.

Until then much love,

Rebecca Signature

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life of a soulsister

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Her special and sacred times – candlelit bathing in the early morning and evening – she hears and sees the trees swaying in the wind, rustling and whispering, the candle flickers with just a little too much breeze coming through the window. And in the darkness and the silence and among the whispers and movements of the earth, she feels her soul.

Early morning hours she wakes, it’s raining and cool. Soft rain, gentle, bathing the earth. And she joins it. She is fully awakened and enlivened. Softly she is reminded of Truth. And Truth is there. She allows its embrace, warm, healing and life giving. Truth loves her so much and she feels that. She loves Truth too. She belongs and she is protected.

For a while they sit. Truth holds her and she feels safe. They sit in love.

And like an incense stick burning, that love wafts into the world, the fragrance touching others. Truth reaches far and wide. And the unhappy, the tired and the lonely begin to feel their souls too.

It moves on and time moves by. And one by one, little by little, the fragrance of the love of the soulsister and Truth spread over the entire world. Bathing it in light and love.

The earth smiles, and souls have begun to shine.

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