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the power of the ability to stop (or let go)

 

Dear soulsister,

Do YOU know where the world is going? Many say it seems the world is coming to an end, its moving towards destruction, its out of control. And yes, it is. All of that. But whilst that’s happening there is a movement in the other direction. A movement that won’t stop that, but a movement that’s laying the foundations for a new and better world. Whilst some are concerned that the world as we know it is heading down the gurglar it makes sense that for there to be new, the old has to go.

Soulsisters (and soulbrothers) are turning it around. They are saying ‘NO’. No, I’m not going down that path. No, I’m not going to do that any more. No, I’m not going to think or speak in that way any more. No, I’m not supporting that. They are waking up. They now see the damage that that way of being has done, and if it continues, what it will mean for them. They understand that their thoughts, words and actions create their destiny and they want a different one. Not only that, they want to create a different story, a different journey. They want to enjoy life, love life, be happy, live peacefully, be healthy. They want to live in harmony with others and nature. They don’t want happiness and peace just for themselves. They want it for everyone and everything. For this, they are prepared to take a stand, perhaps be unpopular or alone, and move against the tide.

The power to stop or to let go enables us to do this. It enables us to take stock of where on earth we are. If things are getting a little too heated, a little too out of hand, a little too uncomfortable, instead of giving in and going with the flow because we don’t want to cause trouble, or we don’t want to rock the boat, or we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves, or, we are bound by fear of survival, a soulsister with the power to stop, stops. She stops. She lets it all go. And she comes back to herself. To her soul. And in the place of soul, she decides where to go, what to do and how to do it. She chooses the path of the highest and most virtuous action she can. Why? Because she has learned that virtue brings happiness.

Virtue isn’t a word used or talked about very much these days. Its old fashioned. Its pure. And we haven’t wanted pure. We’ve wanted impure because we learned that impure often means looking or feeling ‘cool’, being ‘in’, getting attention, immediate pleasurable sensation, feeling ‘better than’, etc. We want happiness but whilst we think, speak and act without virtue, never in a million years will we be happy.

Living with virtue brings lasting happiness. There is no other way.

A soulsister knows this. She is in touch with her ‘self’ and it tells her. And she goes with that. This knowing gives her the strength to say ‘no’.

And so it is. With this power, soulsisters ARE changing the world.

 

Lots of love,

Rebecca Signature

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stress starts with a capital ‘C’

Any fool can criticize, condemn and

Dear soulsister,

We talk about stress in terms of our job or study, our relationships, not having enough time, our health, our wealth, or having too much to do.

What often comes into play when we begin to feel discomfort in our lives are :

Complaining

Criticizing and/or

Comparing

We say, things like “I have so much to do”, “I don’t have enough time”, “My staff are hopeless, I have to redo everything”, “My child/parent/partner are annoying me”.

And then, we leave the conversation there. Usually because everyone agrees with us. “Yeh, I know…….” “Oh, that’s soooo bad” or something similar. We all pat each other on the shoulder and support the victim and mediocrity and add to the universal “Woe is me, sniff, sniff” or the “I am so in the right and everything or everyone else is wrong” syndromes.

Recently I read that the enemy of happiness is adaptation. Often when we are feeling recurring or constant discomfort about something, instead of doing something that will bring about change and restore our happiness, we opt to adapt ourselves to the discomfort. Just like the ‘boiled frog’ it seems there is a part of us that goes to sleep when it comes to changing a situation or modifying it so that it will work better for us. (For those who don’t know, an experiment was done with a frog where it was placed in a pot of water. As the temperature of the water was gradually increased, instead of jumping out of the water, the frog adapted itself to the temperature until it died.)

What we need to do is ask “Why?” “Why do I feel like I do?” We need to get clarity about why I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable. Taking the examples above, it may well be that I have more to do that I can cope with, the time given to me to complete a task is unrealistic, my staff are not trained or experienced or are not interested in what they are doing, my child/parent/partner are falling short of my expectations or standards.

These are the facts. There is no need for me to make them emotional by complaining, criticizing and making comparisons. By complaining, criticizing and comparing, I only create more discomfort, i.e. stress.

Once I have clarity about why I feel like I do I then need to ask myself “What can I do so that I don’t feel discomfort in the situation any more?” Then I need to look at all of the options I have so that I can act to make the situation better for me, and not react, i.e. re-enact the discomfort/stress.

For instance, (taking the examples above again) I might decide to tell my boss that I feel under pressure to do my work – it’s too much for me – and ask if I can have some help. I might decide to meet with my staff and ask why they are finding it difficult to complete tasks properly and then take the necessary steps to perhaps train them, support them or make their jobs more interesting. And I might decide to drop my expectations of my children/parents/partner, understanding that everyone has their own ways of doing things and they may not necessarily be the same as my way of doing things.

Complaining, criticising, and comparing take our power away. Thoughts like these spin in our minds and make our minds weak and as our minds become weak we feel more stress.

Adopting (not adapting), Clarity and Courage to Act will help us to have happy and stress-free lives.

Tomorrow……Why we find it difficult to speak up!

“It’s a lack of clarity that creates

Until then, lots of love,

Rebecca Signature

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The one and only way to happiness

HAPPINESS IS

Dear soulsister,

There are many lists and tips to happiness, and they are all valid, but I believe that the one and only way to happiness is TO LOVE YOURSELF!

Love who you are.

Love what you are.

Love what you’ve been….it has led you to what you are (and what you will be).

Love what you are becoming and who you will become.

Love your beauty.

Love your greatness.

Love your weaknesses, for only then will they change.

Love your qualities and talents.

If you truly love yourself, your body and your life each and every day, you will ALWAYS be happy.

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Image courtesy of Rose Hill Designs by Heather Stillufsen

Lots of LOVE!

Rebecca Signature