negativity is learned

don't let anyonedull your

Dearest soulsister,

Today, as I was on my way to the airport, just before 6am, a couple of young boys got on the bus.  I didn’t take much notice of them, only to notice that one of them offered to help one of two asian girls who was having trouble getting her bag into the luggage holder, and the thought passed through my mind how courteous and well mannered he was to have offered to help.

A little further into the journey I became aware of a couple of what sounded like ‘older’ girls behind me being a bit ‘loud’.  The bus stopped and the two young boys alighted.  Just before the young blonde boy got off, he glanced back towards these older-sounding girls, and I noticed the look on his face.  It was a look of confusion mixed with a dash of disbelief and betrayal – like he was looking back to try to believe what he was experiencing.  I don’t know what had happened, as I hadn’t been paying any attention, but obviously these girls had done and/or said something to upset him. He alighted and as we drove on, for the next five or so minutes they were cackling away very amused by what they had done or said.

It was becoming quite irritating to me and I began to contemplate on how mean human beings can be to each other sometimes.   From what I saw on that boy’s face as he got off the bus, I knew that mistrust in other human beings had been stamped, perhaps deeper, into his heart and memory.  He got off the bus feeling humiliated and that there was something wrong with him.  I hoped that he would quickly recover and somehow self-confidence and self-respect would replace the negativity that had just been bestowed on him.  Perhaps he and his friend would make a few comments or talk about it a bit as they walked on and he would come to the conclusion that the girls were, ignorant and deluded shall we say – which is just how they sounded to me, and he would begin to feel that he was actually ok after all.

I felt the need to draw my attention into myself for a bit to face the feelings of irritation I was having, give these feelings love, and watch as they dissipated and I returned to truth, calm and centredness again.  As I was doing this I reflected on how we learn to think and feel negatively about ourselves and how this becomes so entrenched in our psyche that it feels like the norm.  And I reflected on how important it is for us to keep reminding ourselves of our greatness and our beauty, our uniqueness and our qualities, talents and strengths.  We need to do this regularly, many times every day, so that any false beliefs cannot take hold or are loosened so that they can easily be removed.

I hope you give this a go.  Little by little, we will conquer the ‘darkness’ and there will only be light.  And we shall shine.  Everything shall shine!

Much love to you always,

Rebecca Signature

6 thoughts on “negativity is learned

  1. I think about this a great deal — about what compels some people to need to hurt others. While I was writing my book about extreme family dysfunction I spent many hours trying to understand what caused our siblings to be the hurtful people they’ve grown to be. I’ve concluded, at least in their case and I suspect in many others, it can be traced back to something simple and yet not so simple. My guess is that when they were young, when they were children, they felt unloved or not loved enough. They didn’t get unconditional love from parents. I’m not saying they were doomed. Some people have rough childhoods and grow up to be even kinder and more compassionate. But for those who are never able to lift themselves up it becomes easier to pull others down to their level. It’s all quite sad. Says something lovely about you, though, that you noticed and were touched by it enough to care .

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  2. Hiya Debby, thank you for your comments. Yes, I agree. Thankfully the world is turning around now (very hard to see sometimes, but I believe it is!) and people are becoming more aware, and searching out ways to transform themselves so that they can be part of the solution rather than continuing to be part of this problem. Hope you have a great day – will be visiting your blog shortly to see what you’re up to. Much love, R

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